Ernest Hemingway

 Ernest Hemingway

I am

A monsoon of overly descriptive, flowery language

I’m not earnest

Fuck the Heming way

I am

The creator of my own reality

The main character in my own tv show that i'm directing

Everyone is a version of me

I maneuver my body mechanically and with precision

Actors are too expressive

Let me show you

The power of sight

I write my fives very strangely

Because I am

Penelope Scott mixed with a Gen Z femcel

I spent two years of my life theyfabmaxxing and got called tranny either way

I am

A clear fleshlight full of buzzwords

Haunting rage disguised as liking being bit

I ask every girl I talk to what her aura is 

Looking for green or purple

A lot of yellows lately

I am

A social media caricature of a witty person

According to brian p perkins on Instagram

And a real piece of shit

According to the manager of the Red Robin Inn in Vancouver

I am

So forgetful lately

I can’t remember what I’m talking about

That’s right

Banger tweet idea

she ernest my hemming till i way

 choking on ur own puke

circling the drain

some things have more in common than others

but they all share me

cuts and bruises

jazz cigarettes

bowls that make me dizzy

i am christ the redeemer and also prometheus

the first of an ancient species stitched together from lost parts

i let him slap me

he's going to hurt me and I am begging for it

on my knees

old mattress a church pew

church pew a sign of the times

rotted wood and frotted tgirls

stick and poke tattoos of slurs and dykonography

peom

 

Crucify me, I’ll return much stranger than before

My form is shifting all the time, sifting

Puss and peeling scabs and marks that denote she’s a whore

My form is near inhuman, its humanity is fizzling out

Bread and butter, fall in line, pops picks your haircuts

My skin is thin, you can see them crawling inside it

I can see myself degrading, god is rotting in my guts

The screaming is so deafening, its proof that I exist

You take everything so personally she says as she twists the knife

I let her put it in me and I thanked her with a kiss

I know that’s fucked, but hey, it’s romantic, right? 

Maybe the lacerations will seep out my sins in mist

She said she wants to cut away the parts that do not serve her goals

Carve them out and make them into something new, someone whole.

i am so bad at school

fml

 moved today. mixed feelings. going to miss her so much but I think we both have good things ahead.

I want to do good. I want to be a good person. I think that I am capable of it.

I want to be anywhere but here. I want to travel. I want to convert my honda pilot into something I can see the yukon in. The mountains are calling me. So is the ocean. I want to go to seattle. I want to go to portland. I want to see california. Or the maritimes. So many places to go and so little money. So much purpose with no direction.

lol

 Poison - Stick and Poke

This song is really important to me right now

gives me hope

makes me feel like i have purpose 

Bugsy is my favourite band right now

i am so sad and my playlist is cathartic af

im moving out of my ex's place today

i need to be away from her cuz we both just get sad when we are together

fml

time to learn how to function on my own!!!

 i rig things to blow

every conversation a setup

an entrance into a pipeline

i rig things to blow

the foundation of the building is sinking into soiled ground

and every wall we put up makes it sink slower

i loved you

more than any person has ever loved anything

and i will torture myself for what i did

until my last breath

 everything is different now

everything is changed

i wish i was still the person i was a month and a half ago

she is gone now, consumed by anger

both vague and particular

i am anger incarnate

rage personified

i am the boiling water splashing into your face

cheat on me

ill cheat back harder

every question you ask lets me know you still love me

double dumped

 i got double dumped today

went from two girlfriends to zero

i am incredibly broken but will recover

im going cray

 i have green hair though

perfect timing

so clutch

ive been working away at the pwhl database, have league, teams, and draft configured. Have to do players then ill post to steam workshop while I work away at the ncaa

yellow heat

light under the door 

judgy bitch

tell me how to live my life

i am a functionless being

put here to do fucking nothing

when i leave my room it hurts

when i speak it hurts

formless creature

i am either you or my corpse is in your bathtub

where are you so that we can swap bodies

mine has character but lacks fuction

what about yours?

overdraft

i cant get out of overdraft

everything i do is a complex web of lies i cant comprehend

i am scared of myself

scared of what she is capable of

last night something chased me into my room and i dont know who to tell

both of my lovers have more to do

than overdraft emotional labour

or try to stitch my self inflicted wounds

 

MY HAIR IS GREEN NOW!!!!!

 im pretty much dropping out of uni so im going to be camming a lot

also why the hell isnt it snowing its mid november

ive been thinking a lot about how i am th cause of most of my own problems. i lie often and am manipulative. i dont like this about myself and i wanna change it. going to change it. honesty time.

 lots of camming comign soon

lot of vids coming soon

pwhl db coming soon

 this is another poem i wrote recently lol its also rough be warned

I hunger

To eat once without feeling hunted

I am a starving creature

In my assigned seat at the dinner table

He’s at the head, of course

Dad

Feeding his family a manifesto on post birth abortion and damn immigrants

While his steak gets cold

I hunger

For a single conversation where I am not the expert

For breaking bread with someone who has no questions about identity

Or bathrooms

Or those damn transgenders invading women’s sports

Can I eat?

Or am I wrist deep in my own throat

Digging up bile and statistics on bone degradation

No animalistic posture to prove my point on pelvis rotation

I’d eat their skin from under my nails if I didn’t gnaw them down last night

Licking up blood is all I ate today

I hunger

For a meal that doesn’t dig its way out of me

Up where it came or cut out with a knife stolen from my girlfriend’s parents house

A meal that nourishes me without inflating my stomach

One that pulls me up from being hunched over a plate

Or a toilet seat

I hunger

For banger twitter posts and onslaughts of onlyfans subs

My stomach is empty, hollowed out

And waiting to be filled with shallow validation

From rotten men cursed by eternal shittyness

Porn brained losers corrupted by the manosphere

A visceral hatred of women born wallowing in high school rejection

Their nazi origin story

Your plate is empty

They say to me

Standing over the starving creature

It's only evidence of humanity is a matching tattoo of a starfish she got with her runaway lover

She knew it was bad for her hair and skin

To purge more than she peed

And to claw at dad

And to forget to bring moisturizer to the psych ward

But she didn’t care, Did she?

bitch - by natalie :3

hiiii everyone

been feeling really down lately so i havent been making any sexy content or camming srry :(

check this out though

poem I wrote about someone from school :3

 bitch

my house is not close to your work

you are going out of your way

chasing up the ladder of polyamory

with just one ugly boyfriend on the roster

well not anymore

you ask me why everyone always leaves you

i dont mince words

i assemble them into instruments of destruction

a military targeting system that shoots missiles at bisexual women

i wrote a poem about u

i titled it bitch because thats what you are

suck down that lesbian culture at the club 

while you two step

gay nerd

hiiiiiiiiiii

 

Hello all you beautiful transgenders and lesbians,

Felt like linktree wasn't enough. linktree is soulless. Blogspot, on the other hand, is sacred. Blogspot is raw as hell. 

I am going to be posting

writing! eastside hockey manager women's hockey database updates! gaming stuff lolz! maybe even music! the occasional picture! links to interesting things! and any other creative projects i feel like sharing!

Stay tuned :D